Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The Legend of Zelda CDi Games

Oh boy, this was fun. It was in fact so fun that I nearly started drinking trying to even play the game.

The three CDi games were rather difficult, and annoying at times. However, the popularity of it stems from the cutscenes. In fact those cutscenes summoned forth many internet memes, which are rather funny. (Though getting a tad old)

One of the three released was Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon. This game featured Princess Zelda on her quest to save her father, King Harkinian. I could go on trying to explain the plot, but it rather confused me. Rather, I'll talk about some of the many flaws with it.

The bosses are ALL ANTI-CLIMACTIC! Each one takes ONE hit from each respective weapon to kill them. One such boss defeat leads to a cutscene where he melts into a pool of a blue substance (not water, at least I don't think) leaving his heart behind, saying "YOOOUU'VEEE KILLLLLLEEEEEEED MEEE!!!!", in which Zelda responds with a weird, rather goofy smile, "Good."

At which point I stopped playing. This game simply was atrocious enough with the terrible controls and mechanics, but that?! Wow. That's messed up.

But the cutscenes are simply hilarious because they're just so bad, that's the thing. Those cutscenes brought some notoriety to the series, but it still didn't convince anyone to spend over $600 just for the system, and the games are about $100 each! F*ck that noise man.

Even Gan(n)on dies to one hit from the Wand of Gamelon (Book of Koridai in Faces of Evil).

Which brings me to Faces of Evil, featuring Link. It had a similar concept, only saving Zelda and conquering the Faces of Evil. But one character standing out in my opinion is...Militron. Not only is it a possible Transformer reference, but it sounds like he says "Worthless Korean, you must be hardened with fire! Go and Kill!" rather than Koridian. HAHAHAHA! This is so appalling it's funny, no joke either.

In fact, both games are appalling, as if pretty much no time and effort was put into them. The cutscenes are hilarious because they're THAT bad. That's the only reason they have any notoriety, even if for a bad reason. Hell, Nintendo refuses to acknowledge their existance.

Before I go on about how terrible most of it is, I'm going to end it with 2 Triforce of Wisdoms that are nothing like the actual Triforce out of 5, only for the cutscenes providing humor.

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